The thing that is really hard and really amazing is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself

(Anna Quindlen)

-Shame is the birthplace of perfectionism

WHAT IS PERFECTIONISM?

-Perfectionism is not the same as striving your best

-Perfectionism is the belief if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfectly we can minimize or void the pain of blame, judgement and shame.

-Perfectionism is trying to earn approval and acceptance.

-Perfectionism hampers success

-Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system.

-Perfectionism is actually increasing the odds that we will experience these painful emotions and often leads to self-blame.

HOW TO OVERCOME PERFECTIONISM?

1)We need to be able to acknowledge our vulnerabilities.

2)Develop shame resilience

3)Practise Self Compassion

EXPLORING OUR FEARS AND CHANGING OUR SELF TALK ARE TWO CRITICAL STEPS IN OVERCOMING PERFECTIONISM

-Perfectionism Self Talk: Urghhh, nothing fits

-Healthy Striving Self Talk: I want this for me

HOW DO WE KEEP PERFECTIONISM FROM SABOTAGING OUR EFFORTS :

1)They spoke about their imperfection in a tender and honest way without shame and fear

2)They were slow to judge themselves and others.

SELF COMPASSION ARE :

A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life

(Christopher k. Germer)

1) SELF KINDNESS

Being warm and understanding towards ourselves when we suffer,fail or feel inadequate rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.

2) COMMON HUMANITY

Recognize that suffering and feeling of personal inadequacy are part of the shared human experience -something we all go through rather than something that happens to 'me' alone.

3)MINDFULNESS

Taking a balanced approach to negative emotion so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated.